Zia Hassan

It’s funny.  I do remember April, I promise.

I left town twice.  The first time, my mom had gone to Canada to be with her brothers and her mom.  Tanya was coming in as well, but it would be on Saturday, so I didn’t see much point in coming only to leave Sunday.  When I found Tareq was there for the whole weekend, I bought a ticket to Buffalo on Friday morning and was at my uncle’s doorstep in Toronto by midnight.  I don’t regret taking the leap - I haven’t seen him in years and I’m not sure when the next time I’ll see Tanya will be.

Family loyalty always astounds me.  We stand by each other during the worst possible weather without question.  It’s almost irrational, but then, it’s expected.  I think I’m good at “reading” people, but it does take a considerable amount of effort to get it right when I’m “reading” a person.  Throw 5 people into the mix and I’ve got a serious case of who cares.

The next weekend was my planned trip to Ann Arbor, which involved leaving at 6am from my house and not sleeping until 3am the next morning.  Somehow, I wasn’t all that tired.  The trip started off with brunch at Zola’s with Rosie Perez.  I hope I see her more, she has always has something interesting to say.  We continued with a trip of the campus, and I was in awe of their business school.  Andy said that they tried to make it look like an office building, but I’ve never seen an office building this elegant.  If there was such an office, I’d devote my entire career to janitorial services if it meant I could hang out all day.

Andy’s recital went well and a lot of his friends showed up.  His friends were either the type of people who show kindness and hospitality to anyone, or they just show kindness and hospitality to people who are associated with people they love.  We played an acoustic of songs from Love is Waiting and there was some singing along.  I normally get weirded out in these type of scenarios, but I felt comfortable for some reason.  Watched Six Feet Under most of the next day before I left for the airport.

Liza went on a two week trip to China and we ended up at the airport at the exact same time.  I felt like a cheater - we met up like two weary travelers, but only one of us had scaled the great wall earlier in the week.  Maybe it was the lack of weekends that made April zoom by so quickly.  I did get to see Flight of the Conchords with Mariam, Jess, and Tanya.  They put on a better show than expected.  The banter itself was worth the price of admission.

And now it’s May.  I need a plan for the summer.  On my list so far is:

• solo record
• new record with Andy
• high intensity intervals
• built for show work out program (already started)
• reconnecting with people (and writing about it)
• reading more fiction (I haven’t done this in years)

Gorgeous weather for mother’s day.  I wrote mom a cheesy poem, which I haven’t done in years.  It felt good.  I haven’t written poetry in forever.  Too much thinking and not enough writing.  Years later, I’m actually thinking that Jehovah’s Witness makes sense.  Why should we only appreciate mothers on a certain day?  Why is Christmas the only time for gifts?

The other thing I remember about April?  Rain.  Dreadful days where you wonder how the sky could contain so much water.  But now the flowers are hopefully satisfied and we can get on with spring/summer.  I will not let myself get away this summer.  I will be present.

I’ve had an overload of music lately, as well as an overload of a cappella.  I don’t mean “too much,” I just mean that I’ve had a lot of it.  Got to see Treble in Paradise perform last night, and this night got to judge my old high school’s a cappella competition.  Both were fun, but I think I’ve realized that I’ve outgrown a cappella in the same way that middle schoolers outgrow emo bands.  Maybe it’s that there’s not a lot of room for growth in both genres.  There’s only so many dip da do’s you can listen to, and only so many heartbroken teenagers you can try to relate to before you want to move on.

But it does allow for some catch up with old friends.  Mark Almy and Dave Braatz at AU:  reminding me that I have to stop letting drifts happen.  At Wootton, Nick Hitchens judges the competition as well.  Our yearly meet up, besides weddings.  Nick tells the truth:  “it’s all happening, right now.”  He’s still creating and that makes me hopeful.  Liza and I looked at the pictures from old musicals.  Noticed that Music Man (1999) is dangerously close to the edge of the wall at this point.  I’ll stop returning, I think, when it disappears completely.  Not out of spite, but I’ll take it as a sign at that point that it’s time to detach from that part of the past.  Ingram running around like a mad woman.  Catch up times with her are always a treat and hopefully that will happen sooner than later.

I’ve begun working on a new record, and the title keeps changing.  I like coming up with a title before starting the work.  In fact, I don’t know if I can start working nowadays without a title.  It’s like flying a plane without knowing where to land it.  Trying currently to get talented photographers to attempt putting imagery to the title.  I know what I want it to be, but I don’t know if I have the camera skill yet.  Perhaps that’s something to work on.

I get up early these days.  I started this past week and I’m not any more or less tired during the day.  Yet.  I used to snooze and I’ve kicked that habit as well, painful as it might be.  Circuit training at 6:30 am, and now that the weather is good I might try morning bike rides or sprinting.  It’s true what they say - endorphins really do illuminate the problem areas in other parts of one’s life.  I’ve learned, through excersise, that I don’t smile enough and that when I say “how are you” I don’t really mean it.  Though if I start asking for genuine updates from every person I meet, it might be overwhelming for everyone.   Simple solution:  “Hi.”  No awkward follow-up questions like “what’s up” or “how are ya.”  Though I don’t want to be curt, I also don’t want to be dishonest.

Andy to come home very soon for a good amount of time.  He got a contract with the Washington Opera, which is pretty exciting.  We’ll start working on a new record too, now that we have an abudance of time to work on it without feeling like it’s only a temporary situation.  Hopefully, we can make something different than what we’ve made before.  Something that might not please everyone immediately.  Then again, I didn’t think our first record was anything useful to anyone besides us but it’s had a much better reception that I could’ve imagined.  I think it’s important to make what you want to make and just let what happens happen.  Easier said than done.  Begs the question:  what audience do you have in mind every time you create?  Is it the same every time?  I have 3-4 people whose opinions I trust as a way of translation.  If they think the work is good, others will as well.

Alaska in June.  I get more excited for it every day as it’s the chance of a lifetime.  I even purchased a small camcorder to document our trip.  It’s strange how I find value in recording video of memories but that I scoff at pictures used in that way.  I’d much rather show my kids a video than a photo album.  Not sure why.  There are a few photos of my life that I absolutely love, but they’re fairly rare.

Discovered an artist named Gavin Castleon.  What lyrics and what rhythm.  Everything else sounds dull after I’ve burned through one of his records.  And he jumps around so much, genre to genre.  He can rap as well as he can croon and it doesn’t sound like a parody.  He’s one of those artists that probably doesn’t sort through his recordings much.  I see that type of talent as having a really clean sewer system.  I have to filter my water; he doesn’t.

I have high hopes for the summer.  Summer’s sacred for me.  Being outside and having friends around is really important.  Mood lighting.  Ed asked me once on my deck if I was trying to seduce everyone with lighting and mood music.  Possibly, yes.

And about the evolution of my blog:  I’ve imported every post I’ve ever written back into this blog.  I realize that it’s open to anyone.  Friends, co-workers, family, etc.  It’s been a goal of mine not to hide myself from anyone, so read away.  I’m not going to promote this blog as one that you should read regularly or have on your RSS feed.  You can, of course, but I’d rather it be a website you visit every so often if you’re interested in hearing what I’ve been doing and thinking.  Maybe you’ll relate, maybe you won’t.  It doesn’t matter to me.  That being said, my goal when making my new record is that all of my friends listen to it and find pieces of themselves on it.  This blog could be a companion to that, if we let it.  No one writes about their life anymore.  I’ll probably write in my other blog, inputsoutputs.com, too.  Those posts will be a little more focused.

I figured this would be a short post since I haven’t written in a while, but it’s turned out to be quite long.  I’ve forgotten what it’s like to let thoughts flow.  I miss it and I’m glad I can do it again without any shame.

I started blogging in January of 2001, and since then I’ve been doing it off/on without any real drive or motivation.  In 2009, that all stops and I take full control again.  I haven’t written music in a long time, I haven’t written in general in a long time, and I feel like those two problems have the same solution.  It’s therapuetic, and I like this whole social networking thing.

More to come.

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I’ve always had this weird obsession with robots and artificial intelligence. I would scour the internet looking for new apps that could respond to what I’m saying with some shred of intelligence and I would try to write programs that would seem intelligent. The biggest thrill of my life came from a program I wrote (in Basic) that would ask you for your name, and then spit it back to you in the form of some salutation. It wasn’t artificially intelligent, but it was a huge success with my other geek-friends, who I gave copies to on a 3.5 floppy.
Eight years later, I’m still a technology geek, but I’m not amazed by the little improvements anymore. A search I run in Google will be analyzed and I will be offered relevant marketing messages, Gmail knows who I frequently write mail to, and the internet tailors itself to my needs and preferences. It’s too bad that my little 3kb program won’t even run anymore on a platform beyond Win98 without the user having to manually open a command line.

I’ve been having this feeling lately: I’ve forgotten something. That state where you can’t remember what you’re supposed to be remembering. Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing a better job of capturing everything lately, and it almost seems like a trap. Or I really am forgetting something or someone.

The weather is dependable.  I’m always amazed by the punctuality of the seasons.  I haven’t been able to devote my attention to one solid thing for the past few months, and I’m learning to appreciate it.  This may be the last time my life can be divided into 4 easy and distinct elements.

Dinner tonight: sushi.  Aleena’s recommendation.  Kentlands has these interesting restaurants popping up - a crepe place, of all things.  I had the spider sushi, which sounds like it would be painful.  It’s just crabmeat.

Surprised mom by asking her if I could rake the leaves.  It’s not like mowing - there’s the same amount of noise, but less of it is machine-made.  It became clear to me today that I’m very suburban oriented.  I get restless if I don’t drive a car for a few weeks.  Mindless errands: Target has everything.  I ended up buying a blue/green light bulb for my bathroom at school.  I’ll probably get tired of it after a while, but it will be interesting in the morning when I wake up with 15 minutes to get to work, dash into the bathroom to take a shower, and have a wave of aqua colored light wash over me.

I’ve linked my blog to my facebook notes.  It’s no big deal, really.  Writing, regardless of the content, is always a nice way for me to sort things out.  Sitting around and strumming the guitar has never done it for me, other than get some tension worked out of the hands (and face).  Speaking of which, I’ve got a new recording in the works.  Zach and I sat down and worked out a bold arrangement of a song that I wrote.  In 60 tracks or so, we had something workable.  I’m still playing around with the mix (huge and hairy).

Fall break: just cold enough, Starbucks, Chipotle.  I’ve generally spent most of my fall breaks alone, especially with Aleena at school now.  This time, lots of people are home, including Aleena.  Midterm Monday, and it’s looking like a hard one.  Means that fall break isn’t really a break, but a change of environment, at least for a few days.  Maybe that’s all I need.

I develop a similar habit wherever I work: get to work, do a few tasks, go get a mid-morning snack, do more work, late lunch, relax, and go home. Billy and Andy came over the other night to work on some songs. We molded a song that Andy had written a year ago - Time Has Passed, or something like that. Changed the chord structure a little bit (it’s always easier playing a guitar rather than a piano) and worked the melody so that Billy could add in some harmonies. One of the previous nights, we had a long discussion about music over a few whisky sours. Billy and Andy understand music theory well enough to discuss it and emote over the same complexities, and while I know some basics, I’m much more into sound rather than notes. Admittedely, as Billy pointed out, my brain works with music differently than Andy and different than himself. It’s possible that we, as a planet, work differently with music, but surprisingly, we have similar emotions over some music. At the same time, we have very polar emotions over some other types of songs.

You can’t really point it out. Is it the tone of the voice, the chord progression, the melody of an instrument layered over the progression, the acoustics in the room of the recording, the processing? Which is the thing that pushes the music over the edge of emotion, and why does that edge exist in different places for different people? And is that thing different for same music and different people?

We began recording the song. I recorded the guitar part with some effect, and Andy felt nervous about singing because it was late in the dorms. Even though we were pretty certain no one could hear from my bedroom with the door closed, Andy has a very loud voice. We took a break to smoke and eat Chinese food. Talked with a public safety officer about getting a ticket and things to do to avoid getting charged. If a cop asks you why you think he pulled you over, say you don’t know.

Listening to Sandi Thom’s record Smile… it confuses people. Interesting arrangements and production. The single, “I wish I was a Punk Rocker” is a very catchy radio song that may have been recorded with fancy production and a big band sound, but was eventually stripped down to nothing but a melody line, harmonies, and percussion.

Went home last night to watch Tsotsi with my dad and my sister. It’s one of those movies that builds and builds until a really dramatic final scene involving lots of eye contact, long pauses, hesitation, and suspense. Sometimes I wish I was a film maker. I would want too much control, I think.

I’ve been using a program called Melodyne, which can take a melody line and let you edit the individual notes. You can sculpt the pitch to however you want it, you can create harmonies, or an entire choir if you felt like it. This may open up a lot of doors. Also inherited a Les Paul guitar from Scott, who acquired it from his friend in Japan. Playing electric guitar feels so unnatural to me, although it shouldn’t, since it’s almost the same as playing a synth. Except instead of data, there are actual sound waves involved.

Plans for tonight: hang out with Scott and get dinner. Maybe see what Andy’s up to, if his wisdom teeth haven’t kept him pinned down. I don’t know where home base is right now.

Kitchen Accessories:

two teacups, electric kettle, 3 boxes of 24 tazo tea bags (awake [black tea] for morning, sweet orange for afternoon, passion [hibiscus] for night-time).

Records:

The Police’s Synchocity, McCoy Tyner’s Fly With the Wind, Brian Eno’s Taking Tiger Mountain by Strategy, The Beatles - 1967-1970, John McLaughlin/Al Di Meola, and Paco De Lucia’s Passion Grace and Fire, and David Sylvian’s Secrets of the Beehive.

Books:

Edward DeBono’s Lateral Thinking, Robert Kaplan’s The Art of the Infinite (mathematics), 2006 Henry O. Prize Stories, and 3 small moleskin journals.

Productive day, I would say.

I’ve finally moved into my new home in Letts Hall. It’s funny to think that I used to live on Northside and work on Southside and now it’s the exact opposite. Once I stopped working at Weichert, there wasn’t a specific time of day that I could write in this log, so I stopped unintentionally. Once I find that time in my new job, I can update daily once again.

I’ve been seeing lots of free movies lately, courtesy of Aimee’s job at an advertising agency. Miami Vice was one of the better ones, but I wouldn’t recommend it to someone looking for a good plot. Interested in seeing Little Miss Sunshine, because I want to see Carrell doing something different. I’ve been reading quite a bit as well. DeBono’s Thinking Hats is very well thought out, but just like any other new way of thinking, it will be rejected countlessly by organization leaders who have “always done it this way.” As for new music, I’ve been listening to the Silversun Pickups (excellent guitar tones, great writing) and now a band called Maritime. Still sit on my couch and listen to Eno on Vinyl. I almost have all of his rock albums.

Speaking of which, the apartment is one of the most exciting places I’ve ever been in. Nevermind the fact that I can live for free in a fantastic room with a queen size bed, the shower is one of the most refreshing things I’ve ever used. The new job has been stressful, but eventful, mainly because of the amounts of red tape I’ve had to trip over to get things to happen. It’s always disappointing when someone comes up with a new method which will conserve worker’s time and energy for more important tasks, and the organization sets up twenty hoops for him to jump through. It’s also frustrating to spend energy on a project and not know whether or not the product will actually be used.

RA Training begins in a week and Paul comes back as soon as it’s over. Then, welcome week begins.  Mike left for Texas, and we had a nice goodbye party to send him on his way. Old Ebbit’s Grill - I ordered the mussels. They were good, but I wish I had gone with the seafood salad. When mealplans don’t exist, I try to be as extravagant as possible with my dining decisions. Ed and Scott are moving into a new apartment which looks promising.

Plans for today: maybe recording with Andy, getting school-ish supplies, Joe’s Record Paradise for entertainment music.